What Pride Means to Me: Love & Self-Acceptance
As Pride kicks off in New York City today, I’ve been reflecting on what it really means to me. Over the years, I’ve come to realize that Pride, at its core, is about two things: love and self-acceptance.
Beyond Romantic Love: The Foundation of Self-Worth
It’s easy to talk about love in the context of who we’re allowed to love, who we’re fighting for the right to love, or who society says is “appropriate” to love. But deeper than that is the love we show ourselves — and the ways that self-acceptance shapes the relationships we build.
We accept the love we think we deserve. And we can only meet other people as deeply as we’ve met ourselves.
That’s why I’ve poured so much of my energy into self-work — into healing, growing, and understanding. Because I truly believe the best gift I can give someone else — and the world around me — is to make myself into the best version I want to be by becoming who I truly am and using every bit of the talent God gave me.
Dressing “Like a Boy” Isn’t About Being a Boy
I’ve been told I dress “like a boy.” What people mean is I don’t look the way they expect a woman to.
But clothes aren’t gender. And I’m not performing anything — I’m just being myself.
Men’s clothes are more comfortable.
Short hair’s easier.
They both work better for me.
So I started wondering:
If this is how I feel most like myself,
why does that make me “less of a woman”?
Why does that make me a “boy”?
I didn’t expect being myself to offend so many people in the process.
A while back, I wrote a poem while I was in love with someone. At the time, I thought I was writing about them. But rereading it now, I see that it was just as much about learning to love myself — especially the parts of me that didn’t always feel acceptable.
Even Though I Am Butch
by Gabby Gabriel
I would love you even if you were butch
即使你是个假小子，我也会爱你。
Even though, now, your hair flows the way
虽然现在你的头发是这社会所希望的样子，
Society groomed it,
当那卷曲波浪一样的发丝轻抚过你的背，
The curves and waves that your hair makes,
我想用手指穿过每一缕，
as it caresses your back… and although, I love to run my fingers through each strand—
我俯身看着你的眼睛，
I lean in and look into your eyes and I know — I love you — and that yes,
我知道——我爱你——是的，很确定。
I would love you even if you were butch.
即使你是个假小子，我也会爱你。
Even if your hair wasn’t there,
即使你剪去了那秀发，我也会爱你，
because you didn’t want it to be…
因为你不喜欢那个样子的你，
because you didn’t feel comfortable in
因为晚礼服、裙子会让你不自在，
dresses or skirts,
因为父母在你成长的过程中，
because your parents forced
强迫你接受女性化的外表并告诉你：
femininity into your upbringing
如果你不穿上裙子，
and taught you that if you weren’t in a dress,
如果你只喜欢穿裤子，
if you weren’t the way other girls looked —
如果你不像其他女孩子一样打扮，
then you weren’t beautiful.
那你就不再美丽。
That you wouldn’t succeed.
那你就不会成功。
That you wouldn’t find love.
那你就找不到真爱。
That you wouldn’t be accepted.
那你就不会被接受。
But love doesn’t work like that.
但是，爱不是他们说的那样。
Love loves through change—
爱是爱你的改变，
change of hair,
发型的改变，
change of clothing,
服装的改变，
of situation…
在各种不同的情况下，爱都在。
Just as I learned to love me for who I am—
就像我学着去爱真实的自己，
because I don’t feel comfortable in dresses,
因为裙子会让我不自在，
because my parents told me,
因为我的父母告诉我，
I wouldn’t be successful if I didn’t look like
如果我不和其他女孩一样，
the other girls…
那我就不会成功……
because after I cut my hair,
因为在我剪去长发后，
my family told me I was no longer beautiful…
家人告诉我，我不再美丽……
And for a while,
这些观念一度影响了我对自己的爱，
I let those opinions control my own self-love,
我的自我认知，
my own self-identity,
我也以为会没有人再爱我，
and I thought maybe no one would love me,
虽然我是个假小子……
even though I am butch…
但是你爱我，
But you love me.
你很爱很爱我。
You do it so well.
你爱得那么自然，那么好。
Even though I am butch…
即使我是个假小子……
You love me.
你依然爱我。
And I finally do too.
而我，终于也学会爱我自己。
Short Hair Gets More Attention Than My Queerness
I’ve gotten more comments about having short hair than about being queer. And that says a lot. For me, queerness isn’t just about who I’m attracted to.
It’s about identity.
It’s about not fitting into boxes.
It’s about rejecting the pressure to perform someone else’s version of femininity or belonging.
Why Pride Still Matters — in 2025 and Always
Pride is still necessary because so many people, even in 2025, don’t feel safe being themselves. Whether it’s because of family expectations, cultural norms, or internalized messages about worth and beauty, the truth is: a lot of people are still hiding.
And hiding is exhausting.
The most powerful thing we can do — as individuals and as a community — is to show up fully. To be ourselves, out loud. To model self-acceptance so that others can see what’s possible.
Authenticity Sets the World Free
That’s why I’m sharing this poem today. I wrote it during a time when I was learning how to love — both someone else and myself.
And when we create a society where people feel safe to be themselves — even if we don’t fully understand or relate to their experience — we make the world more accepting for everyone.
Not just for the queer community, but for all forms of difference. For anyone who’s ever felt “other.”
The end goal?
A world where no one has to explain themselves just to exist.
